A Baker's Dozen of... NPCs

As the first installment of my new Bakers Dozen feature (wherein I taunt the triskaidekaphobes out there) here are 13 notable (or not) NPCs for you to drop into your adventures:
  1. Kiven the Drunk, a likable fellow who will, for naught more than a pint of best ale, gladly show you his missing three toes and regale with the tale of how he came to be parted from them.
  2. Brother Caphotri, a monk who has involuntarily taken a vow of silence - due to being sprayed in the face by an acid trap, leaving him scarred, blinded, and tongue-less.
  3. Dismeles the Deranged, a hulk of a man whose massive beard is like Doctor Who's coat - he somehow manages to pull whatever he needs from it. Too bad he's a paranoid schizophrenic.
  4. Billob Therg, a minstrel who can't carry a tune in a bucket but somehow always smells like lilacs.
  5. Regil, Billob's manager. An odious halfling with a penchant for overcompensating for his diminutive stature by picking fights with the biggest and baddest adventurers he comes across.
  6. Prendu the Town Crier, loud of voice but lacking a moral compass. He's been known to make up news on slow days, and thrills in sending adventurers on potentially perilous wild goose chases.
  7. Lazinica, a tavern wench who's really a spy for the local Baron. She gets the skinny on all the goings on in the local area and is paid well for it - by both her secret boss and her patrons.
  8. Jareson the Woodcutter, the cheapest wilderness guide in town - because of his lazy eye and lack of any sense of direction.
  9. Larti, a cute street urchin who will give the adventurers information for a warm meal and a place to sleep. Unfortunately, she's actually a middle-aged halfling and the front for a gang of cutthroats who she lets into her benefactors' chambers so they can rob and murder them.
  10. Sgt. Remlo, town guard, a handsome, narcissistic buffoon who's also infuriatingly good at everything he puts his mind to.
  11. Dirgal, the night soil man whose stench makes anyone near him gag and want to vomit, but who knows - figuratively and literally -  where all the bodies are buried.
  12. Migess, the money changer, who pretends to know where all the bodies are buried but really has no clue as to the real goings on in the local area.
  13. Roscu, the bumbling, dimwitted guard who's extremely helpful, as he wants to one day be an adventurer himself. To him, adventurers are celebrities - he acts accordingly.
I hope you get some use and enjoyment out of these guys (and gals)!