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A D&D Player in Hell, Volume 1

October 05, 2018

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Mutated Creatures 'round You Stare

Stuck in the late '80s? Still playing Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader while blasting Bolt Thrower's Realm of Chaos - Slaves to Darkness* cassette on your ~35-year-old Pioneer 125-watt receiver/twin-cassette tape deck/turntable/graphic EQ system with 20-inch floor speakers? Need to print some new Unit Record Sheets but you lost your original (that you sacrilegiously tore/cut from your book!**) and the Xeroxes have been copied, recopied, and re-recopied so many times they're almost unreadable? Your worries are over! Here's what you need while you push that yummy, yummy 1,000-point lead army over your far-too-green train mat, around those hills with their flaking railroad flock and exposed bits of white Styrofoam, and act out the agonized screams of the heretics as you grind them into the treads of your homemade cardboard Land Raider: (Click to download as a PDF.) * Or as my friend used to call it: playing Whorewhammer while listening to Goat Blower. **Beware! Inquisitor

Speaking of this Image...

I used this beautiful image by Bill Willingham from the 1981 Moldvay Dungeons & Dragons Basic Set for a previous post (regarding a B/X campaign that, unfortunately, never made it off the launch pad). Looking at it got me to thinking of a few things I've often thought while looking at this image: I love the party composition - for some reason, this always seemed to me like the stereotypical PC party. (No one ever liked playing clerics back in the day - the most you might get beyond this representation is a thief. Halflings? Perish the thought...) A dragon? Not really representative of what a party of adventurers would realistically face at the levels this book covers. (Although, let's face it: we DMs still threw dragons in there - some nerfed hit points, a few out-of-scale magic items, the party had a fighting chance, second-level or not. And if not? Well, it's a big world out there, and not everything is at your level. TPK? You attacked a dragon . I'm not sure what

Map of Aerth

Okay, I know the world name's not clever - nor was it intended to be. I was in full-on retro-mode when I created this a couple of years back, so I make no excuses for place names, no matter how cliched they may be. (Fans of Milton Bradley's Dark Tower board game will undoubtedly recognize some of the names on this map - what can I say? I'm a big fan of the game, and I've always wanted to include some of these in my own sandbox world. And, as I said, I was feeling very nostalgic when I made this...) So, without further ado, here's my map of my D&D game world, called simply Aerth :

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A D&D Player in Hell, Volume 1

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